


Confined

by JBankai89



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Confinement, Crack, Gen, Humor, Pranks, Science, journal format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-02-27 07:23:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18734335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JBankai89/pseuds/JBankai89
Summary: Tony decides to pull a prank on Steve. It does not end well.





	1. ENTRY ONE

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This story is based on a YuGiOh fanfic titled Trapped by Logo on FFN, though it is a very old story (probably about 15 years old at this point) and I was unable to find a link ;_; Initially I was going to toss it all up at once, but then I decided to put the entries up one by one. As a result the 'chapters' will be extremely short. I hope you guys enjoy this little story nonetheless! This will be updated once a week. Next update will be May 12th.

Confined

 

ENTRY ONE – SOMETIME AFTER 10AM

 

_Well, since I found this journal thing and a pen in here, let's just log this crazy adventure, shall we?_

_Well, dear readers, here I am, Tony Stark – billionaire, playboy, philanthropist...and captive._

_Again._

_What happened this time, pray tell? What could have led this poor, innocent genius to wind up in this horrible predicament?_

_Well, turns out that using my massive brain power to create elaborate pranks is not an appropriate use of my time. It wasn't even that bad! I only rigged a roomba with a super soaker filled with ink, and programmed it to chase the good Captain._

_Anyway, Cap got kind of pissed and locked me in the janitor's closet._

_It would be kind of hilarious, the guy looks like some weird hybrid of a leopard and a zebra, except it was around 10AM when he locked me in here, and it's been a few hours. I gotta pee, I'm hungry, and I haven't had my coffee yet._

_Trying to remain calm. I've been held captive before, and, hey, how bad could this be?_

_Something tells me that Captain America would probably follow the Geneva Convention's laws for prisoners of pranks...right? He'll let me out before my stomach eats itself._

_Probably._

_I hope._

 


	2. ENTRY TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next update is scheduled for May 19th. Enjoy :) If you like this story, please remember that comments are love!

ENTRY TWO – NOT REAL SURE WHAT TIME IT IS, BUT I AM ASSUMING SOMETIME IN THE AFTERNOON

 

_I'm gonna kill him._

_I don't care that he's Captain fucking America, I am actually going to kill him._

_So, he came to let me out, right? Maybe an hour ago._

_Well...GUESS WHO LOST THE KEY._

_How is this guy a superhero?_

_Augh._

 

 


	3. ENTRY THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next update will be May 26th. Enjoy!

ENTRY THREE – STILL NO CLUE ON THE TIME, BUT STILL LOCKED IN THE DAMN CLOSET.

 

_Oh, joy, guess who joined in on the fun._

 

_At least someone finds this shit funny. _

 

_Clint is outside the room laughing his ass off, and he keeps threatening to text Pepper about my current predicament. Well, whoop-dee-doo._

 

“ _Go ahead!” I said to him, “she's seen me in worse situations than this by a lot. This is nothing!”_

 

_Well, small consolation is that Cap is still running around like a chicken with his head cut off looking for the key. I told him to call a locksmith, or, hey, I don't know, kick in the door, but I don't think he's listening. _

 


	4. ENTRY FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next update is scheduled for June 2nd. Enjoy :)
> 
> **Content Warning: Implied drug use, alcohol**

ENTRY FOUR – I'M PRETTY SURE THERE'S AN R KELLY REFERENCE HIDING IN HERE SOMEWHERE, BUT I AM NOT YET DESPERATE ENOUGH TO SINK THAT LOW, ALSO STILL IN THIS DAMN CLOSET.

 

_This pen is remarkably full of ink, but I don't know how long it'll last. Which will die first—me, or the pen?_

_Ol' inky has a better chance, I think, because my bladder can't take much more of this._

_I was half-tempted to pee in the corner like some sort of drunk college freshman (which I've never done, no matter what the tabloids said—I peed in a cat's litter box like a gentleman) but then I remembered that I'd be stuck in here until the end of time with just my own pee smell for company, so I decided against it._

_And until the end of time doesn't really seem like hyperbole at this point, either. Our good Captain sounds like some sort of flustered high-schooler, apologizing eight thousand times for losing the key instead of actually looking for it, and my suggestions are falling on deaf ears._

_I did try to get the pins out of the door hinges from the inside to maybe get the damn thing open, but I broke a nail, and now my fingers hurt. For some stupid reason, this janitor's closet only has chemicals, not tools._

_I can hear more shouting, and most of that seems to be coming from Captain Flustered, who definitely deserves those ink stains now._

_I swear, when I get out of here...oh, the revenge will be so sweet. I'm gonna put shrooms in his coffee._

_Or something. Maybe LSD. His tolerance to everything is stupidly high, so it'll probably be a lot of shrooms._

_It'll definitely be a sweet victory to see the good Captain tripping balls after all this bullshit._

_Or, maybe I'll leave him alone in a room with our resident plant monster._

_Did you not know about that, journal of mine? Yeah, Bruce decided to play Mad Scientist, and he was experimenting with gamma radiation and plant cell samples (has the guy really not learnt his lesson?) and one of them...got kinda big._

_Like...tendrils, and teeth, and one eye, and it's apparently carnivorous, and really likes fresh Legolas._

_You wouldn't know it to look at him, but Clint's scream is really high._

_Like, really, really high._

_Anyway, it freaked out when I shot at it with my suit's repulsors, and escaped into the air vents._

_That was a fun six months, but we've now come to a sort of agreement-treaty-thing. If Clint (and by extension, the rest of us) stay out of the ceiling, it won't try to eat him anymore._

_God, when am I gonna get OUT of here?! What is that stupid Captain doing?!_

_Wait a second._

_Why the hell am I relying on Captain Dumber-Than-He-Looks America?_

_I'm the genius here._

_Be back._

 


	5. ENTRY FIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next update will be June 9th. Enjoy!

ENTRY FIVE – TONY STARK, BILLIONAIRE, PLAYBOY, PHILANTHROPIST...VAGUELY AN IDIOT.

 

_So...I guess a miniaturized molotov cocktail (modified, so I don't poison myself from the gas) made from cleaning products was not my best idea ever._

_Ow._

_On the upside, this is a quality closet. I really need to congratulate the designer of this building._

_Which is me._

_Go me?_

_Engineering is more my thing over chemistry, but I know it enough to probably not kill myself. Maybe if I can concentrate the bleach, I can melt a hole in the door?_

_I'm probably going to die._

_If that happens, consider this my last will and testament. Donate my suits to the SPCA, tell Pepper I love her, and someone, for the love of God, someone please kill Captain America._

 


	6. ENTRY SIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next update is scheduled for June 16th. Enjoy! :)

ENTRY SIX: NOT SUCH AN IDIOT AFTER ALL.

 

_Using a lighter I found behind the magic erasers along with a spoon, some bleach, and my T-shirt as a rudimentary gas mask, I managed to make a highly concentrated bleach formula that acts pretty much like hydrochloric acid does._

_Downside is it created this smoke in the room that is probably toxic. T-shirt is helping me not die. I tried to call one of my suits with the auto-relay in my watch. I have no idea how I didn't think of it earlier. Still a genius though, despite my apparently flagging memory._

_Unfortunately, the only suit that reacted was my Dum-E suit. I heard it crash through a wall nearby, which made Clint start shrieking again._

_Upside is I managed to burn a hole in the door with the bleach stuff, so the gas can sort of vent out, and Jarvis will let me know when it's safe to put my shirt back on._

_The Winter Jackass came by, apparently to help Captain Dead Man Walking look for the stupid key. While Cap was at the door, looking through the hole and begging me to not do any more science, Barnes said, “hey, Stark, nice tits.”_

_Compliment or Insult? Hard to say._

_What a jerk._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am not a scientist. I didn't do as much research as I probably should have for this, so if any science people wanna call bullshit on Tony's 'experiments' in this fic, that'd be fair.


	7. ENTRY SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next update is scheduled for Tuesday, July 2nd. Updates for all my works are being moved to Mondays, but July 1st is a holiday here in Canada (Canada Day!), so my schedule for that week will be a little topsy-turvy.  
> 
>  
> 
> My Beta was on vacation this week, and I had a friend go over this chapter. Any major mistakes are on her :P. Enjoy!

ENTRY SEVEN: TWEEDLE DUMB AND TWEEDLE DUMBER

_ Barnes seems to think that this whole Tony-Stark-Is-Trapped-In-A-Closet thing is hilarious, and so instead of helping Steve look for the damn key, he's hindering. _

_ “C'mon, Bucky, we gotta get him out before he gets bored,” I heard Steve say. He sounded panicked, which in my book he  _ _ definitely _ _ deserves. _

_ “What's so bad about him getting bored?” Barnes asked, “if he's in there, he can't pull more stupid pranks on you.” _

_ “If he gets bored, he'll do more science. Knowing him, he'll blow up the building.” _

_ Barnes seemed to think that this was unlikely, and I'm almost tempted to try, just to shut him up. _

_ But then I'd remember that I'd be blowing myself up too, plus my phone is in my room, charging, and I don't trust my auto-relay enough to try calling it here. I really don't wanna smash my phone to pieces when I still haven't collected all the Neko Atsume cats yet. _

 

_ I hate this. _


	8. ENTRY EIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Last chapter! Thank you guys for taking the time to have a glance on this teeny story. My beta is still on vacation, so any mistakes are entirely my own.

ENTRY EIGHT – DUMBASSES ASSEMBLE?

 

_This is the end, dear readers._

_I can feel it in my bladder._

_Thank you, for coming on this wayward journey with me, unless it's Steve reading this, in which case, fuck you, and I hope you go to hell with baggy shirts that no longer show off your pecs._

_There's still some kind of chaos going on outside. I've told them to break the door more times than I can count at this point, but big shock no one is listening to me._

_I can hear a lot of yelling coming from somewhere on the floor. No clue what's going on now, but I really hope Captain Asshat is suffering the ire of our teammates. They're all too far away for me to know for sure, though; everyone's been gone for hours, and I am all alone._

_The shouting is getting closer. I have to pee so bad it's almost painful. I am in desperate need of coffee and food. I'm pretty sure my stomach is eating itself at this point. All hope is lost—_

 

_CRASH!_

 

Tony's head jerked up as he let out a yell, and he fell back on his ass. The door's lock was splintered, and the deadbolt was still clinging to bits and pieces of what had mere moments before been a perfectly working door jamb.

Natasha Romanov stood there, lowering her leg, and it gave Tony the impression that she had just kicked in the door.

Beyond her, the bright light of the stung his eyes, silhouetting her like she was some guardian angel who had descended from heaven just for him.

With something of a pitiful cry, Tony fell to his knees in front of Natasha and hugged her waist tightly as he began to weep loudly.

“I'm _saved_!” he cried, gazing up at Natasha, who was eyeing him with the faintest quirk of her lips, as though she was amused by Tony's reaction, but was trying not to show it. Regardless, Tony leapt to his feet and began to gesticulate wildly. “I swear, never send a super soldier to do a woman's work. Nat, I was trapped for hours, you have no idea what I've been through, I—”

“—uh, Tony?”

The soft, sheepish voice cut through their moment, and both Natasha and Tony glanced to Steve.

Steve was standing not far behind Natasha. His expression reminded Tony of a golden retriever who had been caught misbehaving. His head was ducked, and he was shuffling his feet. The other Avengers who had assembled around them were all watching Steve with varying expressions of amusement on their faces, like they were enjoying Steve's suffering.

“ _What_?” Tony demanded at last, narrowing his eyes into an annoyed glare, and Steve bowed his head even more.

“Um...you were only in there for seventeen minutes.”

 

End

 


End file.
